Also I could not bear to see the title "Pap Smear" as the first thing on my blog any longer. What do I have to say today?
Nothing.
It seems like all of the people I worship (in Blog land and other lands) are going through the same type of thing I am going through. Tired. Grieved. Overwhelmed. Angry. Lethargic.
Last week I was feeling and acting so awful that I thought I needed an exorcism.
I went to church on Sunday with my insides all jiggly and the brink of tears, like why am I here?
The priest gave a sermon about not dwelling on the horrible things that you do, but remembering and seizing the unlikely, wonderful things that happen every day.
And I thought to myself, yeah, why can't I laugh when my toddler is sick and throwing a tantrum with snot bubbling out of her nose and drool pouring out of her mouth because she refuses to breathe mid-scream? Why not?
I want to be that person.
I don't want to take myself so seriously anymore. I am really not that important.
Happy Birthday to my husband, by the way. Sorry to him for the pure evil that has been seeping out of every pore of my body for the last week. Thanks for loving me anyway.
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2 comments:
Insert a single letter ('h') into 'smear' and all of a sudden 'Pap Smear' becomes a very interesting cream cheese spread from Einstein Bros Bagels.
As far as the nasty week...oh, don't I know all about that. But during those times of me being a creep I have learned more about grace, unconditional love, and God's strength then I ever thought I could. Not that I encourage mal feelings/actions in order to learn lessons, but I guess I'm saying that in spite of us God still chooses to do good things in and through us. So I hope you are feeling his presence and renewal this week, my friend who IS a wonderful person, mother, wife.
(Sorry my comment is as long as all of your blogs put together.)
You can't laugh for the simple fact that it isn't funny. Ok, it is funny to those of us who don't have to clean up the snot, or calm the child down, or find a way to make the child feel better. Tell you what, hold on to the laugh, it will come in handy when you see the messy faced child at the table near yours at McDonald's who is wearing his Happy Meal rather than eating it.
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