Getting Over Myself: Why I Blog

I am only a blogger of a couple of months. When I learned about blogging and people who blogged a year ago (I am slow, I know), I thought that it was probably a bunch of people who were self-absorbed enough to think that their opinion spewed over the Internet was worth our time.
Oh, precious time that gets SUCKED away by these glowy boxes that make us believe that the world is in there, somewhere.

When I started working from home and taking care of my infant daughter, that cavernous feeling of isolation took up residence in my chest. All mothers experience this. Not to mention the endless uneasiness.
Suddenly, every time you go out in public you feel the following things at the same time: you are not smart enough because you stay at home, your kid is not wearing the right shoes, does not have enough teeth for her age, isn't saying any words yet?
You also start to notice those moments when you catch yourself laughing at cookie monster eating the letter of the day AGAIN, while your toddler no longer finds this funny and has moved on to something else...like browsing the pages of National Geographic.

Motherhood is humbling.

The only solace that I have found for my never-ending spin cycle of thoughts such as am I doing this right?, Is getting kicked in the face during diaper changes normal?, can postpartum depression start at age 1?, am I ever going to calm down? is through the blogs of other mothers.
Blogs lead to blogs which lead to blogs, and I am finding out that I am loving the thoughts of so many people out there. Mothers, non-mothers, my writer friends, people struggling with fertility, people who are doctors...it is like going to a library, which holds endless information that continuously gets updated, without having to feel guilty for your overdue fines. But this is not just information, we are a community of people looking for just that...a community and answers and solace and sanity.

So this is how it started: I was writing a report for work and I got a little under confident about how to express the term et al. or et al., or Et Al., or whatever. I never learned how, but in googling it, I came across the blog of Dorcasina, which led me to the blog of Snickollet. After I cried about what they wrote and how they amazingly they wrote for about two weeks, I was able to wipe away the tears and snot and get over myself about the "bloggers are self-absorbed" thing.

As a person, I don't have much to say, but I like to practice writing and speaking to people who don't eat sand as a favorite pasttime. I don't even have the guts like many of my favorite bloggers to mention my daughter's or husband's name or to show photos. (It can be a scary world inside this glowy box.)

I am just a simple girl who has been blessed/cursed with a hyperawareness of the world around me. That is where the Everythingness comes in. Sometimes I see or hear something that fills me to the brim with so much joy or sadness that I just can't hold it anymore, so I let it spill over.
Here.