A Holy Saturday Letter

Dear Sophia,

Today you turn 21 months, which is starting to seem a little old to me. Especially since you are running around these days with the intelligence of a 21-year-old. When I learned I was pregnant with you, I started negotiating with God. I don't usually do this at all, but when I became pregnant my mind started slowly unraveling. Just ask your Dad. Anyway, I pleaded with God that you would be healthy. Then I threw in some extras, "I would really like a girl. Oh, and please make her pretty, not intelligent, because life is easier for pretty people, and so damn hard for intelligent people...and please, please, whatever you do, do not let this one inherit a hyperawareness of the world from her mother."

Not too long after that plea, God, in God's typical wisdom and sense of humor, handed you over to me. You have my hyperawareness times ten at least. I cannot believe how you pick up on everything that is going on in the world around you. Now, not only do I have to learn what to do with my awareness, I have to watch you figure out yours...and this scares me in the way only a mother could be scared.

Sophia, did you know your name means God? The feminine God? And Wisdom.

Now there are a lot of Sophia's running around due to the popularity of the name, but I couldn't think of another name once I understood the meaning.

On this day, when you turn 21 months, with a 21 year old mind, I only hope that as you grow, you find meaning in a God that will bring you light and clarity in a world that is often confusing.

To be honest, I know I have nothing to worry about. You make joy out of ordinary things, over and over, every day. You laugh and dance without reserve and you are not thrown off track for long by anything.

Now I know that when I was making my plea to God, I had no idea what I was asking for because I was limited by my own experience, my view of the world was so small before I knew you.
I had no idea that there could be a person as everything as you, a true bearer of Wisdom.