Thursday, February 7, 2008

Lent: What I did instead

Okay, okay, so I AM feeling a little lame and selfish for the "giving something up" garbage that I have made of Lent this year. See previous post for an update on that.

Sooooo, I estimate I would have used about $35 worth of pharmaceuticals and/or alcohol today based on the day that I have had and the loneliness and fear that I am feeling at the moment. I spent one minute thinking about the pills I have stashed to my right and the full wine rack towering behind me. After that minute, I then spent exactly $35 on a donation to Amnesty International USA, you know, that little human rights group that I spend a lot of time and brain space on.

Now I need your opinion. I have just the most UNIMAGINABLE craving to get a tattoo of the Amnesty International symbol on the palm of my right hand. This is the logo, but I would only get the candle and barbed wire tattooed, in black.

I get the sense that some family members and friends would be ashamed of me if I had this, even though I explained that it would measure no larger than an inch, and it would look like to most people that I had simply forgotten milk at the grocery store and decided to scribble it on my hand.
Also, as I just read in 37 days, which inspired me to make the $35 donation, "This is more about your action than about their reaction anyway. As is most of life."
Then why get it?
Because, as you know...I get a little lost at times and if I need a reason to stand up a little straighter and stop thinking about my own damn self once in a while, all I have to do is look at my hand. My right hand. The one that I would use to shake yours. The one that I would hold up if I ever had to swear to God before any sort of judging body. The hand that I would use to give you anything, if you needed it.
Because THAT is who I am.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you found some meaning in my words. It will be a beautiful and meaningful tattoo, grounded in an even more beautiful and meaningful reason. Those who would criticize it should be so lucky to feel as strongly as you do. Perhaps that lack drives their judgment...

Anonymous said...

And, so, did you get the tattoo yet?

Lucky said...

Not yet! I can't stop thinking about it though...