Last night I met one of my favorite groups of friends for dinner. We all used to work together once, and now we have scattered, but somehow have managed to remain a part of each other's lives. Last night was not our best. This seems to be a hard time of year for this group. I couldn't help but feel that we were all a little bit delicate, as we talked about the tattered yarn of our mental and physical well-being.
We went around the table and gave the specifics of our troubles. We offered each other serious as well as funny advice. We laughed and cried for each other. I continued to laugh and cry for these friends as I drove myself home.
We were talking about how this time of year can be so depressing, especially if you are facing a change-your-life crisis. Then one friend mentioned how she saw a woman in the grocery store buying a Poinsettia plant, painted blue, and sprinkled with glitter. We laughed and laughed about this ridiculous decoration. How ugly it must look in her house, and how she is going to find that damn glitter has gotten everywhere. What a stupid purchase!
This morning I went to the grocery store, an experience that sucked the very life out of me. As I slowly recover, I can't help but think about the woman and the blue Poinsettia. Now I am thinking she was on to something. Perhaps she was just like me, beginning her day, humming Carol of the Bells, only to find that the Christmas spirit seeped out of her as soon as she stepped into the world. As she sat in traffic, she noticed the abundance of deflated over-sized snow globes that littered the brown lawns. In the gray Cleveland morning, she could detect every mis-stringing of Christmas lights, every sign that blared "SALE" in the store windows. By the time she reached the grocery store, she could barely react to the drawn faces and quick, annoyed pace of every human. Then she saw it. Something that represented exactly how she felt. A Poinsettia plant, painted blue, sprinkled with glitter. Fake and in-your-face ridiculous, and she just had to own it.
Now I imagine that plant sits on a main table in her living room. Maybe when she glances at it, she chuckles, and her heart opens up the way it should this time of year. She remembers that she is human, that there is no way she is in control of this crazy puppet show we call life. She forgives herself for falling victim to that craziness. She sees for some reason this year, we have gone overboard with trying to cover up what is real with what is bizarre, false and flashy. And in that plant, she sees IT, what IS real: We are humans, we hurt, we are not in control...we need to find a faith in something, anything, and give it everything we have. Even if this means you chuckle in the direction of a crazy plant a few times a day. Anything. Let go to it. Surrender your control.
Out of the darkness comes a great light.
Today I am no longer laughing at that woman and her blue Poinsettia. I am simply wishing I had found one too.
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This post is so appropriate to how I'm feeling lately. (AHH! I say this as Katie just grabbed the silver marker I used to address Christmas cards and marked up the WHITE desk chair!) Thank you for posting this! I wish I had a blue poinsettia right now, but I'll settle for imagining one.
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