I forget that you are watching until you comment on my blog every now and then. When you do, I get all jumpy and teary, remembering you.
Rose is not your name, in the same way mine is not May. Not our names, but really our names. Our coming of age names, I suppose.
You were a friend that never took too much. Now that I am an adult, I see how rare and how precious this is. In fact, when we were together, our conversation did not dwell in the chaos of our adolescent personal lives. We did not spend hours on the phone talking about boys, or how much we hated certain teachers, or even the turmoil that happened in our own homes.
We had more important things to do. There were all of those hours standing in the stacks of bookstores, saying, "Ohhhh...look at THIS ONE. I need this one." There were the times we read poetry in the back of a van by flashlight or in a deserted boat garage. We decided that grey was the only color that really mattered. I still think we were right on that one. You would notice when I was upset, not ask why, but grab my hand. Often. I tried to do the same.
Most importantly, we sought and found God. Together, through our friendship, we found the essence of God. No matter how many times the world around us fell apart and built up again, we never changed, we were always just there, watching each other and waiting to step in when it was time.
I miss you, and knowing that you are watching makes me feel so much better, it actually brings me to this keyboard even when my inspiration is dry. See, that is God.
Love,
May
1 comment:
Thanks for making me cry at work with the unexpected personal note. Please blog forever so I can keep my eye on you. Someday I hope you can stop doubting that you have all the inner strength you need to get through this life and the next. I will always have faith in you and your goodness. Sometimes when my life gets too chaotic even for me, I remember the times you mentioned and remember that there is more to life than what I'm doing. You will always be my God friend and I will always need you in my life. Lov u.
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