We are trying to sell our house in what is possibly the worst housing market in the United States. The house that we have been living in for 5 years is just starting to close in on us a little, and we would like an upgrade. We have been listed on the market for about a month and we have had no lookers, not even during an open house that we held last week. Preparing for that open house caused the sweat, tears and near-divorce like any good home "project" does for any normal married couple. I even said, "If this house does not sell TODAY, FORGET IT, we are not doing this anymore!" No sale. Not even a glance from the outside world.
I am Catholic, and let me tell you something about us Catholics. We tend to get so caught up in our traditions and saints and rituals that we almost border on Voodoo. Don't get me wrong, I love being Catholic, and there is this urban legend about burying a St. Joseph statue in your yard if you are trying to sell a house. Yesterday, I decided that St. Joseph is our only hope.
So I googled "Catholic Gift Shop" for almost an hour (where have they all gone?) before I came across one in Euclid called Our Lady of Lourdes. Perfect. I even called to ask about St. Joseph. "Why? You want to bury him?" grumbled the old voice on the other end of the phone. When I said yes, she replied, "We got him."
So I loaded my baby and my agnostic husband into the car to travel to Our Lady of Lourdes. The map quest directions were wrong, and just as we were about to get frustrated, the large Catholic convent/school/church/gift shop appeared out of nowhere. My husband even said, "I now believe in miracles."
We rang the bell and listened to some shuffling on the other side of the door. A tiny woman dressed in white robes opened the door and it looked like it took all of her strength. I have to digress here...I love nuns. I love being around nuns, I want a nun to live in my house, I loved being taught by nuns...all because I am jealous of their quiet, contemplative lifestyle. I know, I could have chosen this as a life path, but there was this guy, I fell in love, blah blah blah.
I told the cute nun about my St. Joseph need. She muttered about the gift shop being closed because of vespers, but disappeared and returned with a boxed statue of St. Joseph for $5.95. My husband handed over $6.00, and we were about to leave when another cute nun appeared from around the corner. I think my daughter's chirping piqued her curiosity. When cute nun #2 saw our St. Joseph, she said, "Oh, you are trying to sell your house, I have a St. Joseph for you," and disappeared. She returned with a smaller version of the statue we just purchased and said, "This should do it! Bury him in the corner of your yard, facing the street. Isn't he beautiful?" I nodded, but asked "Is it true that I have to bury him upside down? I have heard this..." Cute nun #2 laughed, "What? Why make him uncomfortable? You are asking him for a favor, after all!"
I love being Catholic.
So home we went, with two St. Josephs. One to bury and one for my daughter to play with the whole way home.
OK Joe...you are now buried in the corner of our yard. Sell, man, Sell!
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2 comments:
My mom, an obsessive realtor, is psycho about burying St. Joseph! What is wrong with us???
Great post! I'm a Catholic too, and somehow I've always known about burying St. Joseph. I think the nuns teach us that in 7th grade or something.
My question is this, do you dig him back up after you've sold the house? Or are there hundreds and thousands of plastic/metal St. Joseph statues buried around the U.S.?
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